does the new blogger editor not have spell check? or am I just blind? it is my crutch. i can't really spell.
Archeologists in Winchester, Kentucky made a recent find during a rare, but important dig. Below, you will find evidence that there was life on earth in the year 20009 bc. Our findings:
Dallin and Gabby had a love/hate relationship--They are a match made in heaven {wink-wink}.
Oh! This smiley picture of Ellie makes me happy. Although I wish I could have gotten the front of her face better, because........
Wherein you jump into my head (a week ago) for a spell.
Life is always peaches and cream. Always.
Sometimes, however, we eat rotten peaches and curdled cream.
There is a certain anticipation that comes with peeing on a stick. Yes, I wrote PEE. Regardless of your circumstances, I believe that anticipation is always there. Good or bad. Always.
Take, for example, at church four weeks ago, when Sister So and so asked me if I was expecting. The question came from across the room. I was frozen on the spot. My body had been changing, and much to my protests, my clothes were becoming ill-fitting. I wasn't gaining weight, but exercise wasn't rewarding me with anything but tighter fitting clothes. I blurted out, "No. I'm just fat." I was in shock. No one had asked if I was pregnant since the old lady at Kroger, as I was carrying 2 month old Ellie in her carseat. The thought of being pregnant, this time, had not crossed my mind.
Four days later, after feeling sick on and off for 2 weeks, and almost throwing up, I took a test. I lied. Not always the anticipation. There was no actual anticipation as I took this test. This was the fifth test that I had taken in two months (probably the 15th since January). Not because I always think that I am pregnant, but because I am impatient and irregular. And because I always think that I am pregnant.
It was positive.
It was positive?
It was POSITIVE!
IT WAS POSITIVE!!!!
Later in the day, I was on the phone with Paul, holding back the news. I wanted to do something fun. I gotta go, he said. I'm pregnant, I said, and hung up the phone. That was fun.
That night, I had Paul give me a Priesthood blessing.
Okay. We are going to have a baby. And it's probably going to be boy, I thought. Bring on the unisom and B6. Brace yourself for the pukes. All the first doctors appointment brought was a yep, your pregnant, and a two week wait for a "due date determining" ultrasound.
If you have experienced a pregnancy, you may be fortunate enough to button up your pants until your 16th week. I, on the other hand, last about 5. With a rapidly changing body, I expected other things to come, but the pukes, for example, never came. I was really tired, but the unisom and B6 stayed in the cupboard. This was weird. And different. I had hope that this pregnancy would be amazing and I was feeling amazing. But everything was different. I even changed my mind. It was going to be a boy or a girl. Throughout the whole thing, I couldn't help but feel that something was, indeed, different, wrong. But I felt a great peace and love from my Heavenly Father.
"I'm nervous." Paul announced as we walked out the door to head over to the ultrasound. I couldn't help but tell him that we will accept whatever the outcome.
"What's your guess?" the tech asked. 8-10 weeks, came my reply. The real answer: 5.4 weeks. That doesn't make sense. A positive home test at 3 weeks? None of it made sense. Although my appointment to see the midwife wasn't for another hour, they rushed me into an exam room. It didn't look good. I was prepared, I thought. No tears, I thought. NO TEARS, I thought. Tears, tears, tears.
For the next three days, I waited. I got poked and poked. And I waited. And I locked myself in our office, glued to Hulu and my sewing machine. I wanted to avoid real life.
Fight or flight? I fly away.
Friday, came the final answer and we were placed with a couple difficult choices to make: D&C or let my body naturally take care of itself. Another hard choice, Paul had a week long business trip planned; to cancel or not to cancel. After much prayer and fasting, we felt the spirit strongly in our hearts and our decisions were made. Neither choice what we thought it would be.
So, this morning, as I kissed Paul goodbye for a week, I sit and wait for my body to take it's own natural course.
I have been blessed with wonderful friends who have taken care of my children, and brought dinner. I have been blessed with amazing family and friends who have prayed for us. I have been blessed with the constant companion of the Holy Ghost. I have been blessed with a wonderful weekend of spiritual guidance from our Prophet and Apostles. I was blessed to read a wonderful scripture (Mosiah 24:13-15) on a friends blog.
I mentally prepared myself to be sad or even jealous of those who where pregnant (I am human), but those feelings never actually came. With blogs and Facebook these days, word spreads fast if you want it to, and you find a lot of baby birthing! Within the last week, I have found myself more than happy for my friends or family members who are expecting or who have recently had babies. Overjoyed, really. The amazing power of the Atonement in my life is so real! I am so blessed.
I know that the Lord has a plan for me, for my family. It is by this knowledge that we are carried through life's unexpected. I am grateful to be a member of Christ's church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This church is true. I am Mormon. I am Christian. I know that God lives. I know that my Savior, Jesus Christ lives. I know that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real in my life. I am so grateful to Paul, who holds and honors his Priesthood. Who has blessed our home with amazing love and power. I have two wonderful children who bless our home with their amazing spirits and love.
I am blessed. Always.
Life is always peaches and cream. Always.
